The things they say in Chad

Is the guard dead?
Again in Abeche. My colleague and I were going for an evening trip to the World Food Program office to schmooze our way on-line. We expected that the guard would hop up to open the gate as we came out of the house. He appeared to be resting on a bench. I made an extra effort to open the car door loudly and gradually proceeded with some very loud “bon soirs!” “ excusez-moi!” “alo??” The guard refused to move. Granted it was dark and all we could see was what appeared to be a man draped across a bench. My colleague and I both hovered over the guard yelling for him to wake up. Not even a stir. In about a 30 second span of time I went through an entire scenario of the guard being dead and what would we do? I bet the police will come and think that those horrible white women killed the guard! They will put us in some dark, torturous little jail where we will suffer for the remainder of our lives (flashes of the movies where the Americans are arrested in Thailand when the unknowingly carry drugs in their luggage). Ok, so I stoop down, relax, and attempt to see if the man’s chest is rising and falling. I can’t tell! Again, I try. Ok, it appears he is breathing. My colleague finally shakes the hell out of him, and without so much as a start, he rolls over and gazes at us with blurry eyes, as if we are disturbing him for requesting that, as the guard, he remain awake. Terrific. Nothing like a drunk to protect us in Chad!

They are bringing out the body.
Early Saturday evening: my colleague and I are going to the “Cameroon Club” for a beer with colleagues in Abeche. We show up to what appears to be some sort of disturbance. I was trying to have a look in, but avoiding the strange scene of motorcycles driving out. Suddenly our colleagues are running out of the bar and dashing to the cars for a getaway. Ah, there’s been a fight. Someone comments, “they are bringing out the body!” Was a person killed in the fight or just injured? I have no desire to find out, but rather to get the hell out! You never know what might happen in such circumstances.

Chad is like Alaska
We finally figured out why every man seems to be pining for time with us ladies – there’s a shortage of us! Chad seems to have a high concentration of expat men, while only a few women have made there way to the desolation. I’m not complaining about the attention…

Chad isn’t the end of the earth, but you can see it from there!
The comment of one soul upon arriving in Bahai, which is just north of Iriba. I landed there on my way back to Iriba on Monday and it indeed appears to be the end of the earth – just endless desert brown, blowing sand… You know, I feel I’m at the end of the earth!

Ah, Chad!
The words that any expat sighs over and over in any given day. That which seems unexplainable can be encapsulated in this short expression.